[FLAIR] I really screwed up on probation. [FLAIR]

Now, I know I deserve the whole "You idiot, abstinence is the best policy; enjoy your punishment", I get that and I am totally aware of it.

Yeah, you are.

So here are the facts:

-It's probation for OVI, the meeting is supposed to be to assign me my community service. I think there gonna piss test me.

Did they tell you they were gonna piss test you? If they didn't then its a 75% chance they won't. I got off probation for a DUI a few months ago and all the stipulations were listed. They are legally required to inform you what they want you to do. Unless this a service through a court designated third-party. Then they can do whatever the fuck they want since they're a separate entity.

-Aside from [Jan-31/Feb-1] I had not smoked for a week or two prior. I am NOT a habitual smoker; it was always a here and there kind of a thing. I wasn't tanking anything, either both times (one bowl, one blunt) we're split between four people, myself included.

I know some people say it depends on how often you smoke, your stature, etc. It doesn't weed takes 30 days to metabolize through your body completely. I was a massive stoner man, and researched everything about weed and how affects us as humans.

-I way about 200, give or take 10 pounds. I'm about 6ft tall. Chubby, but grotesquely so.

Again, doesn't matter. The good news though, is that the THC levels go down day by day, and potentially could be undetectable by the fast within that time table.

I need someones help. For the next week obviously no smoking, or drinking for that matter. Exercise and probably a gallon of water if not more a day. I know about the "inconclusive" test result as well, but, my goal is to get clean piss first, than worry about the vitamins and what-have-you later.

Exercise yes, drinking a shit ton of water no.

Inconclusive =/= Clean. Inconclusives are looked at as dirties, because many people have thought of the exact same thing you did.

Dude, water, green tea (hot or cold, hot has more nutrients and antioxidants), cranberry juice, and oj. Full of vitamins, nutrients, diuretics, and antioxidants (and yes, weed and alcohol are 'toxins').

Please, I'm not bad guy, I made a mistake, and I need help to correct it, If I pull this off, I don't want to go through this again. Not worth it.

Neither am I. I made a mistake in a much stricter state (Arizona) and ended up losing 2 years and over $10,000.

Take my advice, but know that it may not be successful. And remember dude, you're the only person to control your actions. Sometimes you have to pay the consequence. I did.

Good luck man.

/r/Advice Thread