Hi. I had a pretty difficult few years when I was a teenager and carried that trauma through to adulthood. I saw a counsellor for a brief period of time and while it was helpful while I was in her office, when I got home I forgot everything she taught me and allowed myself to be pulled in by my dark thoughts. So I stopped going to see her and have accepted the depression.

My coping method is a little bit different. I want to make it clear that I am not advocating suicide here but it's a little trick I use to help me. When things get really tough I tell myself I'll give myself 100 days to do, at best, all the things I want to do and, at worst, to get things in order. For example, I tell myself I need to work for 3 more months to get some money saved up so I'm not burdening my family with my funeral expenses.

Usually, within a couple of weeks the overwhelming suicidal feeling passes. In fact, it often helps me see that 100 days isn't enough. Well, I want to visit Singapore before I die. And Peru. I want to see my sister get married. And all of that can't happen in the timeline I've given myself. But there is a possibility, no matter how small, of these achievements in the future.

Don't get me wrong, the feeling is still there at the back of my mind but not always with the same intensity. And when I get closer to day 100 I realise I'm okay, I've made it this far and I can carry on.

I'm sure this is not the right answer. But until I find a better one, this helps me to get through the waves of depression and feeling suicidal. I have been happy and I have a sliver of hope that one day I'll feel happiness again.