After leaving my ex from a near death experience(drug and alcohol abuse), I found It's this way in Australia so much so that when i had to get my bank details changed, they actually had set aside protocol for women in domestic abuse situations. They had a whole system set up. Beforehand I was not aware of just how common this is for women in domestic abuse situations.
I was put in what is called the "AVO"(Apprehended Violence Order) office safe room a few times when waiting the court hearing. It was %100 women. In my two times there, it was completely full of women, at least 10 each time. The AVO officers said it was packed every day there is a hearing.
It was hard to keep women away from their abusive partners as they will always go back until their partner kills them. there's something they say they need to go through a 'deprogramming' period involving counselling which many of the women centers provide for free.
I went through the deprogramming. The most horrifying experience was learning I was my worst risk as I could have gone back. And I definitely knew the next time was going to be certain death.
the second most horrifying was the statistics they told me that men in domestic violence will never experience remorse or empathy for the women they hit.(I wanted to believe so much that he understood what he did to me)
some of the deprogramming was asking me specifically how my relationship was designed for me to be a codpendent up to including financial abuse: not allowed my own money, sexual abuse: owning my body isolation: keeping me away from family emotional, mental and intellectual abuse: assuring I could not exist on my own. These were standard questions they ask all women.
I went to Alanon meetings. These are for people who are relationships with alcoholics. It was primarily women. I've now attended Alanon in 2 countries and 5 cities which are all primarily women upwards of 80% ratio. Where as the AA meetings I've attended(they have open meetings) are averaging more than 60% men.
This was the most surreal experience of my life. I was stumped at how many women are abused and that it's such a 'thing' they have an entire system mapped for it including the deprogramming.
Unfortunately, the court system is not good. Despite how many hearings and cases, the AVOs are sometimes not even granted and some women die anyways at the hands of their exes despite trying to stay away from them. I saw one lady practically starving herself to death because she couldn't eat from anxiety.