I went no contact - it was one of the most difficult things i've ever done, but also one of the best things i've done.

I've tried breaking up with him plenty of times before, but I would always get reeled back in. This went on for 5+ years. It took me awhile to finally see we wouldn't work out because he didn't care about me. If he cared about me, he wouldn't continue to do things that hurt me.

And so, I decided I would completely shut him out of my life. I told him I needed space, I wasn't ready to be friends and I don't want to be in contact. It was not easy because I relied on him so much. I kept busy. I made plans every single weekend so I wouldn't be stuck at home drowning with thoughts of him. I blocked him from all my social media accounts, my phone, everything.

It's been more than 6 months since that happened and I am doing better than ever. I no longer have anxiety or panic attacks. I have no trouble going to sleep. I finally feel like me again.

Also, if you're trying to get out of one, r/ExNoContact has helped me through a lot of it.