For those who did NOT live together with their spouse before getting married, how was it adapting to living together full time?

It's a trip, we work different schedule, gonna gripe a bit, when I'm at work she sleeps cause she's lonely, but when I get home she sleeps because "she couldn't sleep with me gone" but she's asleep when I get there. And then when I wake up, all she wants to do is cuddle untill she goes to work. While she's at work I have to clean the house, do the dishes, and laundry which I refuse so I can give her a chance to do something.

I hardly get a chance to do something alone to unwind, I can't walk out of the house without her before she cries and gets all self deprivating about how bad a wife she is because she thinks she's driving me away, (came from an abusive family).

She tells me not to do something, like dishes, laundry, clean the bedroom because she swears she will, and when she doesn't, and i do it cause it's been long enough and it's messy, or I need something out of it, she cries cause she feel worthless, like she failed me.

I love her with all my heart, and can't live without her. But if you don't want to do anything in the house when you have time to, just say it.

Gripe number two.

I feel like at times she's tricking or manipulating me to do stuff without knowing it.

I've been dating her for over 4 years and've known her a couple years before that; I know she's not the kind of person to use me or anyone.

But there are times where she pulls at me in a way where if I didn't help with the smallest thing, or if I wasn't doing somthing with her, i.e. play games with friends, or just watching YouTube, I would feel like an asshole.

Or this one time when I was a little horny and needy she asked if i had a thing for pain, and when I said no, she then started to get at my acne... like just tell me to stop it. I don't like beating around the bush or being conditioned. Just talk to me.

At times I feel like I cant do anything without doing it with her, and i hate just lying around all day because you want to cuddle.

Now I'm a cuddly person, I love it, but all fucking day... I want to get up and do something, I eat once a day cause i can't get up for more than a minute to make food. /or have a clean bowl because she swears she'll get to it/

I have told her, strait forward about it, but then she makes me feel like an asshole when she's crying about feeling like she's weak and driving me away.

Ever time she say, "I'm trying, you know that right?" At times, I just feel like there isn't any effort.

I love her, I always will. I just feel like I'm swimming oceans for someone who sees them as rivers, and who only tosses stones over cricks.

It hurts.

/r/AskReddit Thread