If you're going through this, I'm really sorry and sending you a big hug.

The people who love me want to help me be happy and grow. They are genuinely happy for my success! They believe in me. They see the strengths.

The people who love me don't compete with me. It's not about winning alone: we are a team.

I've also learned that my mom's mental illness, her trauma and her addictions are not her fault. The dysfunction goes back generations. That being said, we are all responsible for our behaviors and choices, no matter what we're working with. For my mom, everyone else is the problem. She can never see her part. I can't be around a person who lashes out unpredictably and then blames me for *her actions *. And that's okay. I am enough. Its okay to not want to around someone who hurts me and wants me to suffer, even if it's my mom.