It's not complicated, and yet, it really is. My first visit was because my SO turned into a raging alcoholic and she was never up for sex because she was sloppy drunk all the time. She gave me permission to fuck her even if she was passed out. Sounds good right? Well after a few rounds of that, it was pretty weird. Fucking a chick who is completely limp, out of it, and on the verge of choking on her own vomit rand the gambit pretty quickly. Once she finally sobered up and has been for a few years now, the relationship has never been better and we are happier than we thought possible. Except for the fact that I had to move across the country to go back to school since tuition where I lived at the time was astronomical. So now, I only get to see her for around three days every 6-9 months, depending on my school schedule and work. I don't want to leave her since we are planning to have me move back in two more years, after I graduate. But, in the mean time I found that I could NOT concentrate on school. I work out, eat right, yadda yadda. Still I couldn't focus, ESPECIALLY around mid-terms and finals. So I had to remedy that. Since then, I see a regular provider ever couple of weeks. My grades have improved, my mental clarity and attitude has improved.... I see it at helping to keep my shit together for the both of us. I do have a tiny bit of guilt, but the only thing it would do -- if I were to tell her -- would do nothing more than make her feel like shit and possibly set the divorce procedures in motion. I see seeing a provider as a therapy. And since Human Sexuality is my major of choice, there is such a thing as "sexual healing".