Maybe we can walk through a healthy example: wife is a tenured college professor that loves her job and would like to continue working forever (or at least till 65). Conversely, husband chose his job in engineering because he was confident at it and it paid well, but he's a "work to live" kind of guy. Is pet interest AR sci-fi fiction writing, hunting, cooking and chilling with his friends and the children. But really, he's plowing most of his energy into his work and it leaves him with very little for the rest. Both partners care that the others happy, so the husband doesn't force early retirement on his wife and the wife doesn't force her husband to work 'til 65 like she herself will. This is a win-win-win situation. The husband gets the wife's medical insurance, decreasing his savings needs. The wife gets home cooked meals and lunches, and additional child care taken care of. And everyone is fulfilled, contributing and happy.