I wouldn’t say it’s never OK. In my case I am the LL. The reason I don’t have sex is because I have a literal PTSD from rape. Basically be in touch sexually causes severe anxiety and nearly panic attacks. I love my husband, and I do everything to take care of the children and the house and try to be a good wife other than sexually. I am also in therapy to try to help with these issues, but it is a slow road.

Buy your blanket statement that it’s never OK to deny your partner should I then subject myself to literal trauma over and over just to satisfy his penis? There are other ways to connect if couples love one another and to guide one another. Both parties need to grow as individuals and a couple and help each other with their issues of HL and LL.

I know a lot of the people that post on this particular sub Reddit have unkind partners that deny their partner just because they have lost interest. It just makes me sad to see how many people become jaded to the fact that it’s not always as simple as it seems, and not all people are denying their partner sex to be unkind or selfish.

It’s also heartless to say that cheating is justified by denying sex. As I said before if the partner is denying sex out of cruelty or insensitivity then one needs to rethink their relationship choices not lower themselves to their partners level.

There is always two sides to a situation, and if partners love one another communication should be a way of solving issues or at least helping heal one another’s emotional difficulties with the problem.