Forced to take care of young Grandma (67) at age 25. How do I have a life?

Nobody should ever bother to help someone who refused professional help

I disagree with this as a blanket statement. My grandmother lived alone until she was 92. Did her shopping herself, drove herself, went to church by herself. She loved her independence and refused to be in a home.

Then, the inevitable happened and she fell and broke her hip. She then moved in with my aunt halfway across the country. Even at my aunts, she was head strong and stubborn. Most of her food went to the dog, she would get up and walk by herself when my aunt wasnt near enough to watch her.

She passed away this month. She knew it was coming and was restless the night before to the point she fell again despite my aunt running downstairs multiple times to tell her not to get up by herself and to stay put. She passed away the next night in the hospital after being knocked out all day on a bit too much pain meds. But she also died believing my aunt was just down in the cafeteria and would be up with her soon.

Anyway, my point is headstrongness and stubbornness alone isn't reason enough to abandon someone for themselves. Perhaps if it's made clear that you aren't willing or capable of caring for them, but not as a blanket statement. My grandmother wore my aunt ragged these past 6 months but my aunt did it because she loved her. My fiance moved up to the same city in October to be near her and help out where we could because we loved her. In OPs case, yes, let the woman fend for herself, but I don't think it's right to say that anyone wanting to stay out of a home when there are possible alternatives should be helped.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent