Forcing a Gender [TW: Mislabeling Transgender]

Ok. Then I would tell people to piss up a creek when you decide what you want to call your abuser. There's a long history there that they're not privy too and probably can't imagine. And it's wrapped up with abuse of you and suppression of your own wants and needs and gender and sexuality. You absolutely get to take control of how you deal with that.

However, when it comes to other trans people, that don't have this terrible history of mistreating you, maybe try to address them as they wish if you don't already? (Maybe you do, you don't mention it.) Or explain briefly why you can't, and don't associate with them if you they can't understand your view so you don't hurt each other accidentally.

(It's always a sucky thing when two people with legitimate issues on both sides accidentally hurt each other because one person's solution is another one's pain.)

Disclosures: I'm probably non-binary or FTM myself. But I would never do what your abuser did, and that sort of manipulation is sick. And wrong.

I also had to dance for my schizophrenic mother's list of triggers. It makes me very uh...aware of the need to both acknowledge that triggers and flashbacks are very real, since I have triggers myself, while also very disapproving when they're misused or overused. Your abuser clearly misused a whole lot of things and did you a lot of harm.

I actually stay away from schizophrenic people in general, not because I hate them, just because I have so much damn history surviving my schizophrenic family members that I can't be sure I won't accidentally hurt someone else that has the disease with my pain.

I assume you're dealing with a similar struggle with regards to trans folk, having been hurt by someone who identifies as such so much.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread Parent