Between you and me and anyone reading this I've been in quite similar situations. I had him get on top of me and force it in and the entire time I was monotonously repeating the word 'no' as if I was a dead robot. I don't really care when it happens as its not scary or life threatening just like you said above. It's only happened a couple of times but most of the time he comes to his senses and stops. The only scary time was when I hadn't gotten birth control yet and he didn't put a condom on so I started to have a mini panic attack. I know its rape because it isn't consensual but in my mind it doesn't feel like RAPE RAPE so I get exactly where you are coming from.