I hate to break it to you, but if you spoke to your mom like this:

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I told her something really on the lines of her not deserving my dad and her being a lazy, useless bitch

Then she accepted at that time that you are just like your dad. Which you proved a little later by saying how he spoke to her in addition to beating the living shit out of her

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my dad would call my mom lazy and useless, and how my mom would just sit there silently, looking at her food

.....

But there is hope for you yet, you still CAN choose to be a better human than he is. Yes, when you were young, you did what kids do, is mimic their parent, but now you're not a kid anymore, and you don't speak like your dad any more.

[I realized that I was my fathers daughter, I said the same thing dad always said to her. And hearing that from me must have gut wrenching for her]

Forgive yourself kid, Choose to be better, BE Better, become a person your aunt is happy to see, and let the feelings go. You were an impressionable kid, WERE ... not are ...

I feel horrible, i am horrible.

Remember, she said the only reason she did not cut off her brother, was to somehow keep an eye on you. You got lucky he never beat you, but he sure has neglected you plenty. So you get to be your mother's kind, good daughter from now on. Catch yourself before you say terrible things about people and Choose Every Single Day to behave and to Be Better than what he made you.