I found "Sexual Positions" on VHS, copyright 1985, hidden in basement rafters while repairing plumbing.

buckle up buttercup, I'm just drunk enough to give up a good story about the dangers of early age porno

About two years before internet was a thing, there weren't any woods when I grew up because it was on on a houseboat in the Florida keys without real plumbing so you would shit in the turlet which would grind everything up and flush it into the ocean, wipe, and then put the used TP in tiny smelly covered garbage pail that someone (me or my sister) would empty into a dumpster once a week because it was already illegal to dump poogrindings into the sea but if you started doing it with TP the EPA would apparently wreck you.

Never typed that sentence before and it's giving me some pause about how I grew up but anyway, one time my dad got porn in the mail and my mom was craaazy pissed about it, and he made a big thing about how it was a mistake and these damn mailing lists will target anyone and tore what was, in retrospect, probably some kind of a print catalogue of juggy co-eds go wild soft-porn ad into the shitter bin

that night, at age, you know, maybe 11 or 12, I took an extra long dump and went filth-diving to see what the fuss was about and it was pretty uninteresting spraytan ladies without clothes with like their legs crossed and arms folded over their tits.

The next morning I checked again and it was totally gone so either my mom got so mad that I was browsing for poopy porn or my dad got so ashamed that one of them tossed it overboard in the middle of the night.

It wasn't until like three years later I realized the reason I probably didn't give a shit was that I was gay and like twenty years later I found out that my mom was so damn angry was because she'd probably just realized my dad was having a prostitute affair due to work stress which eventually repeated and led to them getting a divorce when I was like, 29.

/r/mildlyinteresting Thread Parent Link - i.redd.it