REPUBLICANS: We need only 9 Democrats' to support our bill to stop the government shutdown for another 30 days.

DEMOCRATS: That spending bill sucks. What about DACA? 70% of the proles support the Dreamers, so, it's not like we're trying to be dicks here.

REPUBLICANS: Nah, screw them... We'll fund CHIP for six years for your support; how's that sound? We can't let the government shut down! We'll look really dumb. Please, think of the children. //stifles laughter//

TRUMP: CHIP funding should be a long-term thing, not a short-term, 30-day thing.

REPUBLICANS: This fuckin' guy, omg!....

DEMOCRATS: Lol! I guess your offer isn't good enough. I mean, even the president said so. //wink//

REPUBLICANS: Look Democrats, you're the minority here. So if the government shuts down and the children die because we cut CHIP's funding last September, it's your fault!

DEMOCRATS: What! We'll just be doing this again next month, anyway!

TRUMP: Yeah, it's Democrats' fault if the shutdown happens. Nobody knows more than me about keeping governments funded. Believe me.