You could’ve levered up by shorting 4 /ES futures contracts. $940,000 notional exposure to S&P 500 for $50,600 in margin

$235,000 notional at 4700 (/ES price * 50)
$12,650 of margin per contact on ToS right now, plus $14 in commissions to open

Your position would gain $200 for every point that /ES went down. Then, another $14 closes your position, and you end up with actual dollars. The whole transaction was regulated, and there is a clearinghouse that ensures you get paid to protect you from an unscrupulous counterparty.

Instead, you were a degenerate. trading on an unregulated exchange and got liquidated by a lack of liquidity, probably by a counterpart who profited off the loss of your life’s savings.

I hope you learn a lesson from this.