I'm sooo sick of being in school. I left home at 15 to go to a very highly rated boarding school for the last 3 years of high school, then went straight off to college. I'm now in my final semester of undergraduate and every fucking day just grates on me. So much bullshit hand holding and busy work, even in senior level classes and this constant feeling of having something to do. My research in the lab is slow and I hate the actual project I'm working on, but I have to finish it for publication and for my thesis. And the worst part is, I still have to try and do well because I need like a 3.8 to finish with a cumulative GPA of a 3.0, which earns me departmental distinction, something I can't just blow off as not an important accolade.

I feel like I can't do anything but sit here, do my homework, and bide my time for the next 4 months until I graduate. And it sucks, there is so much I want to get started on in my life but I can't start any of it yet because 1) I don't have any excess money yet and 2) I don't have a routine schedule and having no "work + life separation" due to the nature of college work gives me this constant feeling of not having enough time to do anything.

I'm just ready to be working, even if it means less "Free time" because the mentality difference between coming home at 6 and being free until work tomorrow is better than coming home at 3 and having work to do or tests to study for.

I made like 4 friends in college and I haven't had sex since high school. All of my friends from high school are either in top grad programs or trying to make it with a start-up and I'm just sitting here wanting to get as far away as possible from academia and get to a point in my life where I can just sit in a lawn chair with a beer and stare at some trees for 45 minutes without feeling guilty about not accomplishing anything.

All of this pisses me off on a daily basis and I haven't even begun to look for a job yet, so that will be fun too. But honestly, at this point, I'd rather be unemployed and eating sticks than still doing fucking schoolwork.