I have recently done the rounds on all the dating apps. I have too much to work on to go on dates with girls, I am dependent on a lot of different supplements and abusing prescription drugs that make it hard to even be able to work my two jobs. I have so much work to do on myself. I need to taper down on them but I just wanted the possibility to have a relationship. I'm not a bad looking guy at all and I have a lot of matches but these problems just make it impossible to be consistent at all. A lot of these supplements I use to make sure I am on point and always say the right thing and impress other people. I am so tired of trying to impress girls on dating apps, it takes so much out of me and I am very good at it but I can't even meet up with girls because being dependent on these things and working takes all my energy. I can't sleep well and I get very anxious and obsessive about all the girls when I do match with them and keeping conversations going . I think maybe I should just go back to dating sims because I used to use them a lot when I was overweight and depressed. I still have yet to shed all of the insecurities of being overweight and it makes me want to prove myself and it is very unhealthy. I went from 210 lbs at 5' 7" to 140 lbs through lots of hard work and dieting, I got off all the drugs when i was doing this. I'm gonna replay KS when I can actually enjoy things again because the only things I do right now are just compulsive. I want to replay KS and more dating sims to fill this void. I can't actually enjoy anything anymore. I miss hanging out with my friends but I am too anxious or depressed to ever go out. I have been through quite a lot and I know this isn't the end for me at all but it is a very dark time, I drank today for the first time in a long time and posted this. Thank you to anyone who read this.