So there's a somewhat popular prayer that goes, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." While I don't have a spiritual bone in my body, the last line of that prayer is what keeps me up (and drunk) at night.

My life hasn't turned out at all like I hoped or planned for and I don't know how to deal with that. Was everything that led me to my current position stuff I had control over or was the combined force of a decade and a half of clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, and autism just a tidal wave the flattened me before I could even take a step forward? Is it okay for me to accept the mediocrity and failure of my current situation and just focus on finding some measure of happiness and satisfaction in my life or should I just keep hating myself forever over mistakes I can't change in the hope that one day everything just falls apart and I'm forced to either kill myself or better myself?