Lickaroo saga yesterday reminded me of another embarrassing story, this one from high school that led to my hockey buddies nicknaming me Chester. Was at one of my first parties ever during beginning of sophomore year and I’m passing around a joint on the outdoor patio with a few seniors on the team.
7.5/10 Senior girl who I recognize from my gym class appears and sits next to me on couch/bench to chief a few free hits off the joint. We hit it off and she starts inching a little closer and getting progressively more flirty. Older guys take notice and head inside to give me a window of alone time. At this point I’m pretty fucking stoned as a rookie smoker and I have one arm around her with the other preoccupied with the bowl of Cheetos left out by the host.
Out of nowhere she grabs my Cheeto hand and stuffs it down the front of her pants. I still have a Cheeto (crunchy kind not puffed) clenched in my hand but she doesn’t notice because she has her eyes closed and was looking up in the air. I had never even kissed a girl up until this point and now I’m at 3rd base (?) so my brain is basically spaghetti. She’s wetter than New Orleans after Katrina down there so I just start rubbing away, just like porn told me to.
She asks me to put a finger in and I ended up taking the Cheeto that was in the palm of my hand and slowly started to use it as a dildo to penetrate her. She continues to moan but abruptly stopped a couple minutes in and took my hand out. I fumbled the Cheeto as she extracted my hand and she looked down to see the lone cheese-flavored snack just lying in her panties.
As expected she immediately left the house (party was pretty much dead at this point) and I told the older hockey guys who we smoked with what happened. Thankfully word of this blunder somehow didn’t spread across the entire school but I did get nicknamed Chester (Cheetos mascot) for the rest of that year. Senior hockey guys graduated that spring and apart from a couple close friends, no one knew about what happened. Glad they were tight-lipped about it because being known as the guy who is d-d-daaangerously cheesy could have ruined my high school social life.