That friend that you had a crush on... How did it end?

I met this girl in college and immediately became friends with her. I'm pretty introverted and kind of socially inept, so this is rare for me. She was really great. The kind of person I could just sit and talk with for hours on end (which we often did between classes). Needless to say, I developed feelings for her pretty quickly. But of course I ended up in the classic "I don't wan't to ruin our friendship" dilemma. So instead of actually addressing my feelings, I stupidly let them build up over the next few years without really knowing how to deal with them, since I had never had feelings for such a close friend before. After a while, it was really driving me nuts. Eventually, another friend of mine convinced me to tell her how I felt and just get it off my chest. So I did, and unfortunately she didn't feel the same way. She told me she wanted to stay friends, and I agreed. Despite this, I was pretty heartbroken for a while. I completely regretted telling her, and felt like a total idiot for even bringing it up with her to begin with. I kind of avoided her for a while after that while I was in the "getting over her" phase. Then, a few months later, she said she wanted to meet and catch up. I figured enough time had passed, and decided this was a good opportunity to just be friends with her and try to avoid any drama about what happened previously. So we finally meet up, and when I ask about any new developments in her life, she reluctantly tells me about her new boyfriend and how she plans to marry him. At this point, depression and anxiety start setting in. It's not that I was holding on to hope that she and I would eventually be together. I guess hearing this from her just brought back all those feelings of heartbreak and rejection from before. I tried to play it off and be nonchalant about it, but it was pretty obvious that I was bothered by it. We chatted on and off for a little while after that, and one day she just stopped responding. This was about 2 years ago, and despite several attempts at getting in touch with her, I haven't seen or heard from her since. I don't know if she stopped talking to me because she thought I was being weird, or if she thought I was better off without her, or vice versa. I wish I could apologize for how things went between us.

I'm not even sad that she didn't reciprocate my feelings anymore. I just miss my friend.

TL;DR: Didn't want to tell her how I felt and potentially ruin the friendship. Ended up telling her how I felt and potentially ruining the friendship. Feels bad man...

/r/AskReddit Thread