Holy fuck! This has blown my mind - you’ve articulated this very well. I’ve been thinking about this so much lately and what you’ve said has resonated with me a lot.
I’m a 19 year old guy and I’ve always been different too - a lot more reserved than my peers in school. I always had a couple friends throughout primary school, and in high-school had quite a few more, but only a couple really solid friendships. I never related to many people, as what they discussed never interested me. I’ve been interested in politics and religion since I was 10 or 11, I don’t think I’ve ever met a kid interested in that, that young. As I started high-school and started smoking weed, I only liked doing it with my open-minded friends who liked to discuss abstract ideas, conspiracies, etc. When I smoked with other groups of friends, who discussed pop-culture and the like, I was just not interested and subsequently moved away from them. Unfortunately, the last friend I had, that I could relate to, is now gone as well. I’m curious to see who my new friends will be when I start attending my uni campus - I’m sure there’ll be some more like-minded people there. It’ll be easier to make friends than in high school, where most of the people are sheep.