it was so many things. But partially it was moving in together, so we could have it any time (not just restricted to weekends), and I probably never would have wanted it EVERY single day. But maybe he did... that probably kicked off the whole horrific, vicious cycle of DB misery: HL initiates LL turns him down LL is stressed about turning down & feels guilty (I'm high strung & prone to anxiety, so that would have likely been the case even without his harassing) LL doesn't want to turn down again, but also doesn't want to feel pressured.

I remember being super annoyed that we could NEVER have non-sexual affection. Every shoulder rub has to lead to sex?! Fine then, if I'm not DEFINITELY in the mood for sex, I'm neither accepting or giving a shoulder rub so I don't have to deal with the stress of rejecting and even MORE guilt (If I accepted the shoulder rub, I feel guilty not giving what is owed, and if I gave it, I feel guilty being a tease.)

So now we have even LESS physical connection.

Years ago I told him I wanted more non-sexual affection in trying to explain how I feel unloved & how we could fix it. It never materialized. (I know.. SHOCKER!)

So yeah, there you go, that is the start of it in the early days. Then it go to similar things DB_Helper & others have described with miscommunication, pressure, etc.