I'm going to be blunt with this, and it might not be accurate and if it is accurate it might not be easy to accept, but I hope that you have enough distance from this that this might help you feel reassured that you have every right to be furious with him. You have every right to feel hurt.
This sounds like it could be an abusive relationship. You state from the beginning that you did not want to date him, and yet kept dating him without knowing why. This is a huge red flag for being emotionally abused, because it gives you false choice, makes you think you're making a choice to be with them when you don't actually have any choice at all. He exerted control over you, manipulated your emotions and feelings of sympathy and friendship.
He wouldn't let you leave him. With him, even the break up meant nothing to him. He just went right along, treating you the same way he had been.
A person who respects you would never try to convince you to date them after you said you weren't interested, especially multiple times. A respectful person would never disregard your identity. He knew you were gay and still made you date him by convincing you it was your best option, even though it's obviously been hurting you emotionally.
You're right, he doesn't care about your feelings, he only cares about his own. He wants you to only think about his feelings and doesn't care if that means sacrificing your happiness.
And sex with him sounds coercive at best.
I hate it. I'm not excited,
I push through cuz I want him to feel wanted and happy.
mentally I can't get into it. I don't tell him, I keep it to myself because there is NOTHING he can do, don't want him to feel bad about it.
After you had told him you weren't interested in men, and your body language showed you were not enjoying yourself, he continued to have sex with you for half an hour. During this time, he never asked if you still wanted to or said it was okay if you didn't. There is no way he could mistakenly think you were enjoying yourself over that period of time. He knew you weren't and decided to ignore it for his own benefit.
He constructed the situation where you would believe you had to have sex with him to prove you loved him, and you had to prove you loved him because you didn't want him to feel bad. In the context of this relationship, him feeling bad was not an option, and yet, you being put in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, used, and disgusted is an option. In a healthy sexual encounter, this would be the opposite.
This is not a consensual experience. This entire relationship has benefited him mentally, emotionally, and sexually and has hurt you mentally, emotionally, and sexually. This is not fair, it's not right.
Now, I almost hate talking to him. I am unhappy and he doesn't care I don't want this any more.
This is important. Trust your emotions and your feelings about him. Talk to anyone who might be supportive-- friends, parents, teachers, abuse hotlines. Anyone. Those resources are there for people like you who feel unhappy and trapped due to the behaviors of another person.
PM me if you need to talk.