Growing up in the 70’s, what I’m realizing now is that there wasn’t a way for a child to talk about it. And then you had the sexualization of pre-teens in the early 80s, then we had satanic sex cults in the news, etc. and pizza gate and pedophilia becoming a bogey man to the point that it’s everywhere and no where at the same time.
My story -
I was raised by a single mom and she saved so that I could go to day camp for two weeks in the summer. It was so great - you made lanyards and played capture the flag, had campfires and sang songs and got to swim in a lake just like regular camp, but you rode a bus in the morning and they brought you home at night. Those two weeks every summer were like my favorite thing in the world.
The fourth summer (I was probably 12) one of the male counselors gave me special attention and not having a dad at home, having a man pay attention to me made me feel special. Until one day on the bus, he asked me to sit by him and then sit on his lap and I could feel his erection - and he was like “do you feel that? Does it feel good?” And I was literally terrified.
I got off the bus that night and told my mom I wasn’t going back to camp. And she was so angry because we didn’t have much money and she had paid for the whole two weeks - so by god, I was going back to camp. I didn’t even have words to tell her what had happened and honestly I wasn’t sure if he was wrong or I was but I wasn’t getting on that bus again. So she gave me an ultimatum, either I went back to camp or I had to come to work with her and sit in a chair and do nothing. So for a week that summer I sat in a chair for a week and did nothing. And never went back to that camp again.
And now like 40 years later, I feel so bad for 12 year old me being so ashamed that I couldn’t even find words to tell my mom (and worrying I had done something wrong) and realizing now that guy probably picked a new target every 2 week session and that his victims are still walking around out there.
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