In my mid 20s, after a decade of not taking a vacation, I ended up in a comfortable position with time on my hands and my mind started processing the lifetime of abuse I let myself go through. I went from being numb to being "hypersensitive", name an emotion and I could feel it like an atomic bomb. Nothing was apparent for anyone but, my mind was just running scenarios with everything for months. I felt like I'd never snap out of it. Then peace came and I started being alive again, but not the same as before. I wasn't just pretending to be happy, I could actually be real and live my emotions confidently at every moment. It takes time to process what happens to us, and we're starved from that time by society.