I do too. Before my ED I thought that if I were to lose weight, then I would become at least moderately attractive. I started dieting to lose 30 pounds which then turned into an ED and resulted in me losing more than 70 pounds and I'm still ugly, just a smaller ugly. The way I feel about my looks has dragged me into a very dark place. Just these past few days, I've stopped talking to my friends and family and the guy I like because I'm seriously just...ugly. I don't wanna show my face to the world anymore and I don't want to wake up another day trying to convince myself that I'm pretty. All of my four siblings, older and younger, have been in relationships and get compliments about how pretty, beautiful, and handsome they are. Meanwhile I'll be 26 this year and I've never even held hands with a guy. My ugly is pretty much the gasoline to my actively burning ED. Might as well destroy myself.