Love hairpulling! I was married 9 years and she was super feminist and really weird about doing anything solely to please me and we didnt have very open discussions about sex because I was afraid of being judged. I was pretty vanilla, we married really young and I had never been with anyone before. It took us two years before we even did it doggy style, if that puts it into perspective.

Sometimes I'd get the urge while fucking her from behind to slap her ass repeatedly and pull her hair. I'd fantasize about it while fucking her. It was almost an escape from the bland sex we were having. She always had such a nice, pale, juicy ass and it used to be enough just to see it quake with each thrust. But I grew to hate her for a variety of reasons and I had hard time getting off over time. But just the thought of slapping her and pulling her hair would turn me on and do the trick.

It was more than just a kink. There was tinged with resentment toward her for wasting my 20s on her, how she never appreciated what I did or the love, support, and affection I threw away on her. It was tainted with hate and I never acted on the urge at any capacity out of fear of being judged and embarrassed. It was a fantasy that pacified me during the waning moments.

What I did not realize at the time was that a lot of women are actually into it. I started dating afterward and a lot of women straight up asked for it. I'm engaged now and she loves it.