Guy here (with counterexample!):
In previous relationships the girls didn't like me rubbing them fast, so I wasn't trained on getting a positive response for it. I even understood how they're sensitive, and that I should't be harsh in my motions.
BUT NOW I have a gf of 3 years, who DOES like it if I rub her as fast as I can. We quickly learnt, that she can squirt that way (which I always thought was a myth before). So we often stand in the shower, use a bit of lube, and I'd rub her clit until she squirts. Usually until then my arms fall off, since I'm literally giving 100%.
I can even see on her face and the way she breathes how a 2-3% speed difference toggles her closer to orgasm. She asks for these events herself, and for me to do it as fast as I can.
When we're in bed and I'm slowly rubbing her clit, that's fine and sexy and all. But then if I switch to superfast, she loses control instantly, can't even keep on kissing me or talking, closes her eyes, her legs tighten up, and eventually she would find a way to stop me (by rolling over), because she doesn't want leave mess in the bed. This is when she usually asks me to continue it in the shower.
In turn she's not into me fingering her inside her vagina. We almost never do that.