No, having a lighthearted attitude is not malicious and hateful. Malicious and hateful grows from the general feeling that you're above a race. That comes from parenting and a surrounding that's not diverse. Sometimes it's out of fear because someone looks different. None of it is right.

I grew up not being aware of race. I was in the minority in school. I've lived a diverse life and have friends from every background and culture. But I don't pick friends like "oh, I don't have a _____ friend. I better go friend him" lol that's silly. I have the friends I have because I like their company. My best friend seriously is Asian and I love em. We've got a lighthearted attitude and so do his friends. I've heard so many cowboy&redneck jokes (like seriously, I'm from the city lmao) or "better put sunscreen on your pasty skin!", but I laugh it up. I'm positive they don't think "Fuck this white motherfucker, I'm gonna make a redneck joke. Get burned by the sun, bitch." They're trying to get people to laugh and enjoy this fucked up game of life a little bit more. I've never once felt the urge to be offended or cry racism because I understand it's a joke.

The n-word is different because everything it is is derogatory. That word was forged out of hate and said out of hate. It's fucking despicable how people were treated and how that word was used to make people feel less than human. That word shouldn't even be brought up in an argument about jokes because the word was never a joke.