I'm literally going through this right now. It happens in a variety of ways, but this is the current one. I've communicated that ordering food stresses me out -- maybe 50 times so far. They wanted to order food, and I told them that's fine, but I didn't want to be involved. Despite my attempt at communicating, I was asked over a dozen questions about what type of food, which restaurant, what to order, etc. I lost it. I couldn't care less. I've had so many negative experiences ordering out and I'm not even hungry right now!

I shouldn't have to reiterate my boundaries every day of my life. It feels like I do nothing but defend and protect myself from people. And when I bring up that I've mentioned this countless times, somehow I'm the problem. Somehow I'm mean for not accepting a hollow "I'm sorry". It's ridiculous, the mental gymnastics required to justify violating my boundaries.

What's my reward? They withdraw and withhold social/emotional contact. Personally I call it abuse. My mental health doesn't justify my being abused. Don't I deserve to feel comfortable in my home? Don't I deserve to eat the food I want? Don't I deserve a hug or a word of sympathy or compassion? Guess not.

Thanks for posting. You deserve better, and I deserve better too.