General Discussion - October 12, 2018

I'm not really talking to anyone in particular here, I'm just venting.

To be honest, I'm not really doing okay since the semester started, and I figured I might as well say it here because I can't really tell people at work or school.

It's not that I haven't done it--I've been pretty straightforward and blunt about how I want to die and kill myself, but I think/know it makes people uncomfortable and they'd rather write it off as a joke. Most of the time I (think?) joking, but it's only because I feel like I'm too afraid to actually go through with it.

I wish I had the strength to just go ahead and finally go through with it, rather than just be all talk and not show anything for it. I know that this is just the depression talking, but I feel like a failure who only wants attention.

I guess I do want attention. And it's not like I don't get it. I'm having friends come over this weekend and it's not like my life is completely falling apart. I just don't see a very bright future for myself, and I don't really feel like I have a purpose to what I'm doing anymore. Not a purpose that really matters.

And that being said, I'm finding comfort in learned helplessness. I know this is a character flaw. I know that this can easily be fixed. I just don't want to put any effort in anymore.

/r/femalefashionadvice Thread