Now that GF is in full swing and no one checks this anymore I can vent a bit. Will probably delete this in 5 minutes because I'm a dork and just need to get this off my chest

I finally realized that I'll probably never be able to make close friends again. Try as I might I just can't form a connection where someone wants to actively talk or invite me out or have me join some preexisting group. It's a big reason I haven't posted here like I used to, it just reminds me of high school. I get along with everyone but when lunch comes they all split off and in the end I'm by myself. I know part of it is my fault and people who were doing that stopped because I was at a shitty point in my life and you can only be around Debbie downer for so long, but it still sucks that even months later I try to reach out to them and others and form connections and it doesn't happen. Meanwhile I get to see how much fun they're having with their cliques and i guess I'll never be a part of one again. I'll never really get beyond "that nice guy we talk to every so often." I guess I should be thankful I even get to that point.

I need to be more thankful that there are those that even snap me every so often. It's super embarassing but those are usually the highlights of my day. Granted it doesn't happen a lot, but when it does it can really turn my day around