Ok - thanks for your input, and I don’t wish to sound ungrateful, but your take on BDSM and mine are clearly different. I am very experienced in this world, and one thing I’d never do is criticise anyone else experience. I don’t really understand where you are coming from when you say “don’t blame kink” I’m not coming from a position of blaming anyone or anything, my post was asking about genuine places to meet like mined people. But as a side note, please don’t consider yourself as qualified to lecture me on what is vanilla, and what is kink - when by your own admission, you spent decades in a vanilla marriage ? I’ve always been in this lifestyle. I mentioned I a reply earlier, that there is often a type of snobbery in kink, and I’m afraid your demonstrating that right now. If you have nothing good to say here, I’d rather you said nothing ?