if you're in a field where you need to raise money for your work (if you need grants to do research, you are in such a field), that's just how the cookie crumbles.

No I think you are correct, this is the "ugly reality" and I appreciate you pointing this out. This is the piece of feedback I think clicked the most so far and really helped me have the correct perspective on my current situation.

It sounds like you're suffering from being confronted with the less pleasant realities of the work world. I don't know about whether you're not right for your field, but if you were complaining about something specific to your field or even academia, I'd say sure. But you seem to be complaining about human nature.

I'm just trying to see if this is something I want to keep doing. I realize that this is how the field is.

I don't know what you should do with your life. But I think that, when you are given feedback, you should analyze it rather than throwing it out, even when you don't like the way it's given. You shouldn't drop everything and become a whole different person, of course - but it doesn't hurt to keep it in mind.

I clarified a bit in the comments what the "hype up your work" was in reference to. It's not that I have a problem with advertising good work, but it's more that there's a lot of upselling and overhyping bad work. I referenced how there is a study which quantifies how recent STEM articles use superlatives like "novel" or "breakthrough", it's basically increased a lot.