And then with this round of protests I've done a little bit of research about murder and police violence stats and I feel like the narrative is just grossly distorted, and I am getting increasingly grossed out by how white people are expected to self flagellate, condone political violence against relatively innocent people, etc

You're not alone. I've become very disillusioned by how many people are unquestionably supporting everything on social media. Since when did having sympathy for small businesses being looted equal racism? WHAT? We want the movement to succeed, therefore we don't want looting to distract. They said that looting is a valid form of protest to get attention, then when looting got attention, they complained that it was getting attention...

It seems the left wants to hate each other now. I remember my dad from the USSR would sometimes compare democrats to communists, but now that they're trying to police thoughts and feelings I'm kind of seeing it...any dissent is met with attack.