But we aren't even a Nordic country, and why would the Nords want us onboard?

Because we are all very much alike and have a healthy economy.

Not only that, what is the point of alliances if we literally will just start bitching about the poorer parts and divide them?

There wouldn't be poorer parts to bitch about. EU let in poorer countries that weren't abiding by the rules. That is not oké and not how you earn trust. Also let them break the rules with no consequences. Then why are there rules in the first place.

You also seem to be forgetting how many products the Northern countries (including the Netherlands) constantly need free access to in the South and how much the South buys from the North. Creating barriers would make the whole exchange more costly and less efficient for both sides.

uhh yea I think we're fine if since germany & UK(hopefully still in 2 years) are big partners. And for the rest we'll make trade agreements. It's not like if you're not in 1 massive alliance thing, you won't get trade deals. that's not how this works.

Sure we'll take a few hits, but if the EU keeps showing no back spine, let in countries that cause trouble and are very different from western culture that's going to cause friction and you'll only be waiting for the next "greece" for it to burst.