I am similar as in it's not easy for me to get there. Even by myself it can take a while and usually guys will not do it for long enough by themselves if you don't tell them to keep at it. So it only worked for me a handful of times through handjobs and vibrators.

Until a few days ago. My FWB managed to do it somehow and I'm confident it could work again. Maybe because we changed it up a little and I basically sat on his face instead of him going down on me. That way I have more immediate control over my motion and his position - I can move to where it feels good and tell him if he's doing too much, too little or if it's just right. So I guess my advice is that you might not be a "lost cause" when it comes to oral but that the technique isn't working and you have to experiment some more and communicate a lot. At least my guys have always wanted to give me pleasure as well, sometimes it seemed even a little more important to them than getting off themselves. So if you give him more feedback I'm sure he's happy to implement it and try it out more.