This might be something the tattoo artist could help with. You would look for a really great artist, who's work you admire and they are usually talented when it comes to designing a piece. That way you could sit with that person and keep working up the piece until it's something you love.

What I find with that piece, personally, is that the thickness of the lines gives the appearance of the pen being stopped at weird spots, like between the "e" and "n" in "endures." You wouldn't stop your pen there, why is there a thicker line where the "n" starts? (I can see about ten other spots where I feel that way about the line thickness.

I don't love the starting "H." I do like that direction, taking the line and going down, then up to make the cross and then finishing with the flourish, but the two vertical bars should be parallel and the loops should look related. Your two loops in the H are like fighting each other like lords of different worlds instead of creating a harmonious look, if you know what I mean.

I hope I have offered some useful advice for you. If you are looking for a redo of it, I could offer you some images, but I'm better with a pen than a computer, so I'm not sure how I would show them to you.