You can't help her, she needs professional help. You are just being selfish and trying to use her..make her better so you can stay with you. Doesn't work like that, you are not a professional! You have no idea how to change a behavior of someone else, you are just lying to yourself. Think of that as you damaging her with her permission in order to keep her with you because of selfish reasons. You don't love her if you NEED to change her. Love her as is, let her find a therapist if she loves you and want to be better. Stop saying breaking up is a quite a big deal.. it's not! Are you saying that you can cheat on her and do whatever you want, she'll still stay at because breaking up is a big deal but and not easy to pull off??