tldr this experience made me rethink cheating and infidelity from top down, and realised that i obeyed to a social norm/system of shame that i didnt have to obey to... ive cheated before, and never told anyone about it. but first time someone cheats on me. i think shes very courageous and honnest in coming out the next day..

remember talking about cheating with her very early in that relationship, and was quite clear that it was fine if it doenst hurt the other person.

i wasnt very present for that women anyway, and i still like her, in a romantic and sexual way. and i technically cheated on her at the begining of this (like 5 times with different people, which i never told her about).

i think im responsible somehow for her looking for sex and emotions elsewhere. beeing busy at work and with other stuff in life. without exploring sexually or emotionally. which is fine, im not blaming myself. just realising that its no big deal for me to torture myself with. as ive been mentaly and physically ill the last couple days.

im happy this actually happened, a wake up call for anything serious i might have with anyone in the future... as a cheater or a cheated on..

ill give us a second chance and see where it goes! my chance to explore those experiences and negative emotions. texted her and will see her tomorrow.

was an emotional shock to receive tho, not expected and very disapointing. but i think its good, everyone needs to experience those feelings, i think.