I have done what she is doing to my SO as well. She is reaching for you to throw yourself at her feet because she is so unsure and insecure about your current situation. If I were you, I would sit for a half an hour and write down everything you want to tell her like:
Emphasize that you understand why she is stress and that you really care for her but that she also needs to work with you. Mind you, this could be a mental illness showing through. I have BPD which causes me to reach for affection like this and basically be super irrational about little things (but I wouldn't suggest this, it might make her more angry lol.) Be gentle and patient with her, and don't turn it into a screaming match. Let her vent if she needs to, and once you get to a point where she is agreeable and listening, explain your standpoint and your feelings. Touch on the air horn thing or whatever you feel like is a point of contention. It's a give and take, so if she continues to not listen and disrespect you even after you extensively reason and sympathize, then you might have to just drop it. Of course you could just drop it, or you can try to stick it out. Good luck to you though!