GF is hyper-sensitive about everything to the point it seems like she's trying to find any possible excuse to take things the wrong way.

I have done what she is doing to my SO as well. She is reaching for you to throw yourself at her feet because she is so unsure and insecure about your current situation. If I were you, I would sit for a half an hour and write down everything you want to tell her like:

  • Why you feel like your ex needs to be there (and why you really don't give a shit about her being there but how your kids are different)
  • That you are having a hard time communicating and you really just want to be happy with her and bring both of you back to a place where you are comfortable and content.
  • Discuss ways you can remove your ex from your house while keeping the kids there. (She should really be staying with her parents or a friend. This is also probably stressful for your children since there are so many adults around that aren't usually together and it's creating a strange dynamic. Even if they don't know exactly what the deal is, they can sense tension.)

Emphasize that you understand why she is stress and that you really care for her but that she also needs to work with you. Mind you, this could be a mental illness showing through. I have BPD which causes me to reach for affection like this and basically be super irrational about little things (but I wouldn't suggest this, it might make her more angry lol.) Be gentle and patient with her, and don't turn it into a screaming match. Let her vent if she needs to, and once you get to a point where she is agreeable and listening, explain your standpoint and your feelings. Touch on the air horn thing or whatever you feel like is a point of contention. It's a give and take, so if she continues to not listen and disrespect you even after you extensively reason and sympathize, then you might have to just drop it. Of course you could just drop it, or you can try to stick it out. Good luck to you though!

/r/Advice Thread