i know it doesn't seem this way, but this is a tale as old as time. girl is dating guy but feels lonely and wants attention. girl finds low commitment and low effort affair partner. girl tells him loving stuff to make him fall in love with her. girl gets bored and ghosts him or acts badly toward him. your relationship was never about her and you, but her and the attention and validation you gave her.
let me be clear: she does not love you and she does not respect you. imagine your friend or someone you care about deeply told you that someone who purports to love them is treating them this way. you would scoff at the idea. someone who loves you does not make you beg and beg and beg and beg for their attention or even a small reply. someone who loves you does not blatantly ignore your wants and feelings.
why would she ignore you and treat you so badly if she really loved you? you know that doesn't add up. would you ever treat someone you loved in the way that she treats you? you know you wouldn't.
also, she was never going to really meet you anyway because if she did, she would. look at the long distance sub and this sub - these people are fucking excited to meet their partner and have countdowns. while she bails on you. social anxiety or not, this isn't someone you can have a legitimate relationship with if she can't do a basic thing like see you in person.
also, she isn't the love of your life - you guys have been talking for a few months, chill. you should never make a person something that makes your life worth living. that is so unhealthy to you and codependent. i'm assuming you have low self-esteem and this is what makes you hold onto whatever you have with her but it's not going to work.
imagine being with someone who wants to talk to you. who puts in effort in being with you. who wants to hug and kiss you. who is excited about the thought of you. who never ignores you. who treats your feelings with respect. who wants to make you feel better when you're feeling down. this girl is not that, and she is not so great that she is better than a girl who would treat you that way. you deserve someone who treats you well.
don't prioritize this girl's feelings to the point of feeling so shitty, you don't deserve that at all. prioritize yourself.