1 - You got banned because you didn't read the rules. Which is EXPLICITLY spelled out in the first sentences on the sidebar. Which means you didn't read the sidebar, which means you're a tourist, which means your words have very little weight. To jump on here and whine further weakens your case, and to not realize the mod team on the main sub is very much comprised of the same guys that make up the mod team here, so bitching about them here is probably pretty stupid and the wrong venue. Again. So, there's where your credibility is starting out from.

2 - You are 19. Stop picking dented cans. She's broken, you can't fix her. There are so many shiny pristine cans on the shelf.

3 - Realize this post was all about her, you're likely codependent. Start thinking about what YOU should be doing. And dump her ass. Seriously. A suicide attempt, being adopted, overly invested in trivialities like school ranking, and having a history of feeling "not good enough and wanting to die" are all red flags. How many more you need? Get out.

4 - Protip. Drop "lol", "jk", and any other cutsie weasel words and emoticons from your written work. Displays your immaturity and your unease that someone might disagree with what you've said and you want some room to backpedal. "Jeez, I was just kidding!"

There are more, lesser fuckups you're committing here, but you're 19. You're bound to fuck up. We all did, it's forgivable. What's unforgivable is if you don't learn from your mistakes. Stay and do some reading.