It seems especially hard nowadays with dating apps, in my experience- assuming the other person feels the same way I do is often not true. The continuous cycle of going through the motions of going on dates and talking with a girl only to end up with them not feeling anything at all. Just because we were having a great time during the dates, it’s never the case for me that any explicit feelings were conveyed. Even if intimacy was there, I lied to myself believing there was an actual relationship forming.
In my last Hinge fling, our 3rd and final date was what I can best describe as a shit test by her. Probably immaturity and insecurity on her part as well, so to summarize here’s the back story, met on Hinge, there was a definite connection, she lives with her parents, got along great, conversations flowed well, intimacy escalated after the 2nd date, this past weekend was the 3rd one and this one was her idea, went bowling, got Panera afterward, then came the main centerfold of the night: drinking and meeting her parents playing card games, I got along with them great, moms a teacher, dads a carpenter, never a quiet moment. She claimed I was her first match on Hinge and was fully intended on getting into a relationship from there, watched Netflix after she would not stop making out with me, borderline sex, never watched a minute of the movie. I was leaving at 1:30am, she walked me to my car still making out, clearly we had an intimate connection, Sunday morning comes and she texts me saying she wants to “just be friends” the usual shit that ends up happening to me. This time I just couldn’t figure out how and what went wrong, previously when I got to these points before with hinge matches the issue was always lack of romantic feelings, this time there was tons. She said me meeting her parents and the interaction in general was going to gauge whether or not she wanted to date me or to see if “her feelings towards me changed” basically a certified shit test. I couldn’t believe it. Not only were her parents super nice and I left with the impression it was a great night and she even said it was but she said that she doesn’t have any feelings for me.
What I wanted to know and will never find out is why would you bring a guy over to meet your parents then make out and touch all night and the end result is “I want to be just friends” aka never talk to you again. I tried grilling her for answers and reasons never got one. Super depressed because I actually developed feelings for her, she was never once open nor mentioned how she felt towards me in person so I thought it was a give away everything was mutual up until that point. So I have no fucking idea what happened. This is just one of the many rinse and repeat Hinge flings that I’ve had over the last few years. At any point she could have been honest with her feelings or lack of but she chose not to.