Background: I’m 25, a woman, and would label myself as an introvert.


Story: Someone at my university stood out to me, which is rare. I notice him enough to notice that I am not really noticed back, and this continues to go on for the entire quarter, which was not the most ideal of life’s circumstances.

It was the day before my last final. I went to din­ner expect­ing the din­ing hall to be empty since stu­dents were going home to their fam­i­lies. It was not. Almost all the tables were taken. All except one. This guy’s table had free seats. I started to look around for other tables as the panic in my gut began to boil, but I then made myself turn around and return to where he was sitting–I would not be ruled by fear! I approached him, asked if the seats were free, and his affir­ma­tive led me to take a seat at his table. After a brief moment’s pause to con­grat­u­late myself on treat­ing him like I would treat any­one else, the fear of further perceived invisibility set in. I didn’t want to be afraid or feel invisible anymore. “Screw this,” I inwardly huffed, “I should just talk to him, and then, at the very least, I will know this person and be able to greet him when I see him rather than be afraid of the guy.” I leaned over and said, ever-so-brilliantly and art­fully, “Excuse me, what is your name?” I, then, pro­ceeded to have a fifteen-minute con­ver­sa­tion with him. And I was not afraid anymore. At the end, he asked for my number and said maybe we could hang out some time. I was stoked. My bravery was reaping all the rewards! Who knew!

A couple days went by with no word from him, which was a little anticlimactic, but hey, it was the holidays. After not hearing from him for a couple weeks, I had released any romantic daydreams I had about this going anywhere, but I felt relieved that I could now see him and feel normal and not like a creepy stalker with the noticing and the not-being-noticed-back situation. I first saw him walking back from classes. He walked past me. That’s okay though; maybe he just didn’t see me, and I’m not really the type to enthusiastically yell greetings at people I know, so I can’t get too upset about not being noticed in a crowd…a crowd-ish. I see him again, same scenario. Now, I’m starting to feel weird again. I see him yet again and decide to stop living in my head, again, and just go say hi. I can do that now; we’ve met. I approach him, tap him on the shoulder, he turns…and a look that, as best I can describe it, is one filled with fear mingled with a scosh of pure discomfort (like he would like to be teleported about three feet back and preferably behind a glass wall). It’s like I am the carrier of a zombie plague. I am a little shocked by the reaction, so I say, “I just wanted to say hi!” almost to reassure him and then walk away feeling like a loser. I still see him, often multiple times a day, but he never looks at me, acknowledges me, or greets me. That definitely stings with embarrassment, but while my ego regrets taking that plunge and wishes I really hadn’t approached the man, I am still pretty proud of my ballsiness.

tl;dr Personal victory. Still single. Romance can be quite the little she-devil.