This is literally going to sound like a Christian conversion story and an Absurdist Play. I'm an Atheist though and still don't think it was God.
So I got rear-ended today on the way home from work. Like really bad. I was driving down the highway home from work when I was struck from behind by a car that must have been driving 40 kilometers per hour faster than me. I launched sideways and veered into the ditch down one side and up the other. I was unhurt. The other driver wasn't hurt. He was friendly. And I wish I joking, but he looked like Jesus. Like if Jesus was French and lived in Canada in winter and was in shock from having an airbag set off in his face.
I call my parents to pick me up. They were both still awake and were actually in the middle of saying their daily prayers, where they ask for God to bless me.
The worst part about this is that most of you will think this is a shitpost because it sounds like a fake Christian conversion story. Plus like, I deserve it. I lie to people all the time to make them laugh and to get out of working hard. And like, this a place to make people laugh. So like this the exact moment where I deserve to be mocked and I'm 100% telling the truth. I've said this before to some close friends, but man... I've fucking livid at whoever wrote the story of live is fucking terrible at writing. Predictable Plot, typical delivery, even opens up with a story about being an Atheist. And like I'm totally not fucking joking around. It's like the Eternal Nightmare of a Shitposer, one day a thing happens and it's so convoluted that it fucking gets less and less believable and the obvious shitpost.
It's like I've realized that the entire purpose of my life was to have the one thing that I'd never believe if someone told me. I've become a shitty meme. Anyone that believes me is an idiot. Anyone that thinks this is a shitpost is actually wrong. There's absolutely no way I can ever tell this story without being disappointed. Either I feel bad for the person that could believe this garbage, or I feel bad because someone is wrong on the internet, which is like my worst fear.
And the final fucking insult about this... The only other position a person could have about this is that they don't have an opinion because they just. don't. care. Which is totally mood, crew.
It just gets more and more complicated. And this event is something completely impossible for other people to emotionally share. Which just fucking sounds like my entire life right now. I find no way to emotionally connect with other people. I find this all fucking hilarious and intellectually stimulating.
Like I'm pretty sure I was rear ended by a guy who I know from rehab where the last the last thing I said to him was "I hope I run into you again soon after Covid19".
It just doesn't stop.