giving away starwars battlefront to the best joke

There was a poor man who was begging for some money out on the streets. A young couple encountered him as they were heading to the newly opened restaurant.

"Spare some change?" The old man said.

The couple look at each other for a second before the young lady pulled out a few dollar bills and handed them to him. "Sure..."

"Much appreciated! May the gods watch over you!", cried the old man as the couple left.

As soon as they were out of sight, the old man went into a nearby public restroom and pulled out his hidden stash of clothes from a stall he locked earlier. As soon as he put them on he got on his bike and rode down to the restaurant.

He then hid the bike behind the bushes out front and ran inside. A few minutes later the couple from earlier walked inside.

"Ah, welcome. Please, come this way", said the old man. "We're running low on space today, so I'm afraid you'll have to eat outside."

The old man noticed the looks on their faces. "Worry not, for only a small, small fee you'll be able to sit wherever you want in this restaurant."

"Really?", asked the young man.

"Yes. All you have to do is stand outside wearing these clothes", he replied as he pulled out dirty rags - similar to what he was wearing earlier - from a nearby rack.

The couple only stared at the clothes for a couple seconds before the woman spoke up. "I don't think it's worth it. We'll just leave."

The old man quickly blurted out a reply. "Just for wearing these and standing outside for an hour you'll be able to sit anywhere in this restaurant and eat free here for the rest of your lives! Is that not a good deal?"

The young man grabbed a rag and started to change. "I don't know about you, babe, but free food is all I needed to hear."

After putting on the clothes he walked outside, leaving his girlfriend with the old man.

"I'd just leave if I were you", whispered the old man.

The girl gave him a confused look. "Why?"

"You'll see." He then took his leave and left the building.

A few minutes later the police arrived and arrested the young man. He was allowed one phone call. He decided to call his father.

"Dad... I'm kinda in a bind right now..."

"Hmm?", his father replied. "What happened?"

It was quiet for a moment. "Kinda stuck in a cell right now... could you talk to the officers and tell then it's all a misunderstanding? They've accused me of being a criminal who has been wanted for years."

"Ah... hehe... I'll be right over there in a jiffy."

Half an hour later the old man who the young man met earlier showed up. He walked right up the the youngster's cell and sat down in front of it.

The young man only stared at him for bit before speaking up.

"Fuck you! I hope you die a horrible death you piece of shit! I hope you don't have any children because I'd feel bad for them that their father is the scum this world doesn't need!"

The old man slowly peeled off his face... but that was only a mask.


"I'm disappointed in you, son. I was just trying to get you into the family business."

He then got up and left the jail.

/r/RandomActsOfGaming Thread