This isn't the issue at hand, but I pride myself on being a good judge of character.

Maybe we know something you don't.

And what would that be for instance? I', already paranoid by default.. I don't need to wonder and obsess more than I already do.

I'm actually very afraid someone around me, apart from those I've told will get to know how I really am doing. I'm usually very good at concealing my emotions. People seem to find me as a very outgoing, positive and fun loving person.. heh. how ridicilous it actually is.

being a good judge of character.

I've thought I am too.. but I've come to realize one cannot ever know what is inside another human being or living creature. We can only guess.. Sorry for getting personal and perhaps a bit defensive right now. I don't know why.. I apologize. Probably It's some kind of defense mechanism, or just me starting to get very wasted.. probably both.

The stomachache and the acute anxiety has stabilized a bit. Luckily I have a lot of alcohol and some perscription medicines at hand to manage, hopefully, through the night.