Goddammit, I got a C. Is this the end?

I'm sorry if this is weird, but shot in the dark, are you the one who posted to this sub about being suicidal a few months ago under the throwaway name u/feeling_blue_tw? You've been posting on this sub a lot and it seems like there are a lot of similarities (deferring grad school originally due to health concerns, a class whose instructors rotate, not having a lab, the grade worries). I wouldn't usually mention having noticed something like this, but if you're actively suicidal or if that's a risk, it seems like it would be important and even potentially an emergency situation. I hope it isn't, but if it is, please, please talk to someone.

If that was you, I really, really think you should leave your program. Even if it wasn't, I sort of think that's what you should do. You've made a lot of posts here about how hard things are for you and it sounds like the program you're in is causing you really severe emotional pain and distress. I don't think r/GradSchool can really offer you much more advice than it already has -- I don't mean that in a derogatory way, just that if you're actually in a toxic or unworkable situation, we can only help so much from a distance.

For what it's worth, I'm really sorry things have been so hard for you. Whether or not you were that user I mentioned, it sounds like things have been really rough on you these past couple years or so. Please try to do whatever is best for you and take good care of yourself.

/r/GradSchool Thread